The Iguana Theory

Or an essay on working in the charity sector

This is a story about the charity sector working. Told through the medium of Iguanas. Stick with it.

Now, a caveat that some people in charity jobs end up in a particular organisation because they have a connection to the cause, either directly affected by it themselves or have a connection to someone who is. Maybe they’ve been volunteering for a while and have got a paid role. That’s a sizeable percentage for sure, but then there’s the rest of it.

For the rest of us, it goes more like ‘say I’d like my work life to try and contribute to some good on the planet, let’s look at some charities, see if my skills work there.’ After that, while hunting away you filter out the things that don’t align with your personal beliefs (religious organisations for example are a charity few of us not in that religion work in). In a really good job hunt, the jobs align with an area of interest, such as animals, the environment, medicine, or whatever it might be. Sometimes, though, you simply end up doing the job you do (let’s say marketing) for a charity, and are happy to be in some way not making the world worse.

Great, that’s a win for everyone, right?

Except not.

This is what I’ve come to think of as the ‘Iguana Problem’ if we can indulge in a metaphor.

You get a job helping the Iguanas. Cool, Iguanas are cool. You like Iguanas. You want good things for the Iguanas. This is a great job; you get to help these little guys utilise your skills. Win.

You turn up to work, you write some press copy about the Iguanas. You get some social media engagement. You run an Iguana fundraiser. All is good, you enjoy the work, and the Iguanas are getting help. Win-Win.

Then someone queries your Iguana qualifications.

Well shit, you don’t really have any, except you want good things for these little dudes.

‘What do you mean you don’t have an Iguana sob story? Why are you here then?’

‘Well, I just kinda like helping the world a bit, and like Iguanas need some help, so…’

‘But you don’t have a personal connection to Iguana Crime?’

‘Well, no, to be honest, I didn’t know about the Iguana Crime until I got here, but now I am I’m really determined to help by doing what we do.’

‘Yes, but you don’t have a personal reason to help them. My Dad was an Iguana, you know.’

‘Oh wow yeah, no, there aren’t any Iguanas in my family but still happy to help here.’

Apparently, without some deep-seated reason to help the Iguanas, I…can’t. That doesn’t seem to add up. I mean if I worked in a supermarket, I wouldn’t be expected to have a strong emotional connection to potatoes (I do have a strong emotional connection to potatoes, as it happens).

But the Iguana problem gets worse. Because you have to constantly demonstrate how deeply you care about the Iguanas. Now this is also a problem in more corporate settings, granted, where you have to pretend your biggest love is making the bank money or whatever. But in charities, it gets an extra side of guilt. You know it’s fine if you go on holiday then, I mean, like Iguanas will die, but sure. Or well, you see, we all worked longer because we really needed to like, save an Iguana, but I understand your brother’s wedding was important too.

But the fun twist, too, is if you…care for other animals too.

Let’s say I’m working really hard to save the Iguanas in my day job. But I’ve also always really loved owls. So I figure, I’ve got some time, maybe at weekends, I’m going to do some volunteer work for the owls. Meet some new people (and owls) get some different skills, you know all that.

What do you MEAN you’re helping OWLS don’t you CARE about IGUANAS

Well I do, but the thing is I spent 40 hours last week caring about Iguanas I just thought I’d mix it up a bit with some Owls.

Heaven forbid too, say you work part time with the Iguanas. And well Iguana saving doesn’t exactly make you rich (and that’s ok! We’re not here for the money…we’ll come back to that). So you have another job. So you can’t go to ONE Iguana benefit in the year, because your aforementioned supermarket job needs you to sell potatoes.

WELL I GUESS YOU WANT IGUANAS TO DIE THEN.

You know what my dude right in this moment when I’m off making minimum wage to supplement my job that I do the rest of the week…kinda not the biggest fan of the iguanas no.

Because here’s the thing. You can start off wishing those Iguanas well. But then, you might realise that your paycheck doesn’t quite cover the bills, really. It’s really not actually more than your side hustle in the supermarket. Meanwhile, the big bosses? Who yell about saving Iguanas but who you haven’t actually seen with an Iguana…well they’re making six figures…and your salary still starts with a 2…and you’re not being pushy but, could we maybe talk about a little increase.

How dare you. Don’t you know that every penny we pay you to do your job is money that Iguanas deserve more?

Eventually, you hate Iguanas so much you have to leave.

A while after you leave, you realise it isn’t Iguanas you hate but the six-figure earning bosses, and the idea that your entire life has to be dedicated to Iguanas.

I wish the Iguana metaphor was exaggerated. If anything, I’ve toned it down a bit. I’ve left out the bits where disabilities are pitted against each other for which is more worthy. Where staff are expected to work at ridiculous hours of day and night to prove their ‘dedication’. The policing of social media and forcing staff to post from their personal accounts, asking for donations. Forcing staff to donate from their (already small) paycheck.

Charity sector work is great, truly. Culturally, the kinds of people who work there are often some of the best kinds of jobs. It’s genuinely a lot of fun and yes, to be cliche, rewarding. I’d rather spend my hours saving the Iguanas than making an anonymous banker somewhere money. But it’s also toxic, it’s filled with holier-than-thou people, but also people who’d be better off making that banker money. There are truly dedicated people, but also people who have strong boundaries. Both of these people are right.

I want to continue working in the third sector. I genuinely believe in the difference that can be made. But I also believe in workers' rights, in work-life balance and having more than one passion in life. Both things should be true.

Save the Iguanas sure, but not at the expense of yourself.